15 Minute Philosophy: 5 Years

“A man that is the same at 50 as he was at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” – Mohammed Ali

MP3: 15MinPhi 5 Years

Ah, such a fitting quote from a man that changed so much he legally changed his name, albeit in a more religious manner but change nonetheless. As for myself, I’ve found these days, even though I too have changed into pretty much a different person, better to let the state keep the legal identification on file and use my new (also given/earned) name as a screening tool for future friends and other associates to see if they can accept me for who I built myself into and not what I was born with and what the state calls me. There’s a lot behind that philosophy, so we’ll save that for another time. Let’s leave it at this: I’m no stranger to watching how things can change over time, either naturally or through action or even both simultaneously. This is no different. 5 years ago was the day I officially moved into the place I have called home since. 5 years ago the room I lair in right now as I record this was the best air mattress on the market instead of the fairly proper bedding I have now, where as far as I know I gave Hot Russian Ex her first orgasm via cunninlingus since her coming back to the states (for reasons I surmised far later she didn’t want to fuck without a condom even though I had a vasectomy, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions for now). 5 years ago, aside from the next door neighbours and the standalone house here, every other unit was either vacant or had different people, several units of which have had multiple different people in to varying degrees of destruction.

How so much has changed. Some for the worst. Far more, in my opinion, for the better.

“Pictured: much better than nothing but a water bottle as a window prop.”

Since then, I now lay in a decent bed all to myself after going through several air mattresses together with her (all I could afford at the time until I discovered Amazon sold mattresses and frames), have a halfway decent couch from Walmart also in lieu of a blow up version, and pretty much every appliance I could outfit this place with to do just about whatever I want, including a dedicated booze fridge in the living room Bowl Of Chaos didn’t want and brought over herself so she could get her regular dose of semen.

“Pictured: a perfectly good reason to find yourself in my bedroom.”

The vehicle I own, have owned for the longest at well over 6 years and moved most of this stuff here in, the HMS Defiant, has gone through pretty much everything a vehicle can go through including a new hand-built engine that for the longest time kept trying to escape the frame itself (can’t imagine why!), and is sitting outside on it’s own hand made parking spot; as of now it’s in the best shape of it’s life.

“Pictured: not one of it’s best days.”

The once vibrant station across the street lays silent, though that’s more of an effect of the times inflicted upon us these days. Obviously Hot Russian Ex is no longer the Hot Russian Partner, as she’s been gone for over 2 years now: Longest relationship I’ve ever been in at almost exactly 6 years; man was that quite a ride, in more ways than one. The job I’ve been doing for over 5 years now has also changed quite a bit, even uses a different more structured system than the simple “here’s all the info here” one alongside a different pay structure amongst other changes; also the longest “job” I’ve ever held.

“Meanwhile, all of these nonessentials are outside my starboard window.”

I myself physically have changed: from a steady 235-240lbs of in shape but a bit chubby to about 185-190lbs of muscular with about 3 or 4 visible abs and god knows how much muscle mass replacing fat mass, having test trialed many different diets and exercise styles and even adding almost exactly as much weight in metal that I lost in total weight.

“Timestamp says October 15th, 2018, which would’ve been 2 months into the Restricted diet that I ended up going down to 170lbs. These used to fit feirly comfy, and they don’t have a waist string.”

“Meanwhile, this is what almost 50lbs of finding the weight I lost looks like.”

Other things I have changed or grown in as well: my once long hair that I made the mistake of cutting for a job twice is now almost back to it’s former glory, the scars from the night my name was burned into me permanently are really only noticeable if you look for them, and I now sport a wicked mustache goatee combo, amongst other benefits of losing so much fat especially around your waistline (ladies….). The website started just over 4 years ago has morphed from just a blog to hosting a late night recorded podcast to hosting recordings to a live show to hosting now 3 or 4 different shows with and without guests live or otherwise, with almost none of which in the last couple of years would have been possible if Hot Russian Ex was still around.

“Pictured: a “Professional studio set up.”

Speaking of her, I finally learned my lesson in treating women equally to men, in particular ones you’re in relationships with: one of the hardest lessons to date, as for so long I wanted an actual partner on equal footing with me, someone I could rely on. It took me breaking both her and Bowl Of Chaos 2 years later spirituality for lack of a better term to figure out that women especially in this regard are different than men, that women are the vessels that mould their very essence around the content you provide and, just like any programme such as this one, if you don’t treat them as such and lead them accordingly they will torpedo themselves alongside the relationship, to devastating effect in both of their cases.

“” You were my everything. ” Pulled this off the old big screen yesterday. Not my proudest moment.”

So yes, a lot had indeed changed since I moved into what will soon be the place I used to call home, the story of which has been told here as well. I’ve lost not just 2 different partners in that amount of time, but family members, friends and social media accounts, each with quite the story of their own. Not all has been loss though: I’ve gained quite a bit since then. I’ve made new friends, both in meat space(Liberal Alpaca Wrangler comes to mind) and in many versions online whether through social media, other personalities, even through my own show (ChildOfTruth.com comes to mind)! I’ve been on other people’s programmes and have had them on mine, and have had the pleasure of meeting several of them in person! Meanwhile, even though most of the personal interaction between the company I contract with has been removed to varying effects both good and bad, apparently my name still has some sway, because as far as I can tell I singlehandedly got my region to open back up during a riot induced citywide curfew after closing for several days. And that’s just some of the craziest things to happen in my life over the last half a decade. Bars I’ve either been 86’d at or I’ve 86’d myself from. Snowstorms I’ve driven through where almost no one else could, not to mention other protests such as May Day and the most controversial election year to date (guess who’ll be driving around in the upcoming one!).

“Pictured: Snowpocalypse.”

Law enforcement, SWAT or otherwise, getting called to this complex, the latest being for yours truly. Crazy parties and concerts I’ve attended, from the pool party at Gun John’s Place for the 3rd Man Militia, Redfest and Live Day for the Men’s Room, Thee Podcast Get Together, the dinner I biked to for Tom Leykis and the insane after party at a bar later that night (let’s just say I can confirm Tom’s down for the brown), meet ups at Gary and Dino events, visiting Atham and Aaron Clarey, and countless others I’ll likely remember after this is published.

“Pictured: just a few snapshots of a very wild ride.”

And the sex stories. Dear God the sex stories. All of which require their own write ups, the shortest being getting picked up by a lesbian in her 50’s at the bar I’m 86’d from, walking back to her place not far from this one, and getting to boning which ended with her swallowing a load and her getting herself off on top of me (can you see why now?). The Big Boobed Blonde nurse I also met at the same bar that got my number, talked all kinds of dirty to while Hot Russian Ex was on a business trip (yes, this was towards the end, but it’s also one reason why I can’t really judge her too harshly), and ended up making me her regular penis call (what do you call the male equivalent of a booty call?) after the break up for the next several months until she moved to Louisiana. Told this story already, but the Wiccan Dog Walker that I met at a Red Festival that took me back to her place after a wild night at the local water park. The Girl Almost 22 that alongside her friend picked me up at the only bar I’m not 86’d from in walking distance back to my place so she could pee and I could grab some booze and other contraband (this leading to me making the Contraband Kit), back to her place to drink and fuck on her living room carpet (her friend passed out in the bedroom and she didn’t have any other furniture save for bar stools) until the sun came up, finally dropping me off back to my place.

“Pictured: several selections of away game libations.”

And of course, let’s not forget Bowl Of Chaos. Things really kicked off with her the night my engine first tried to escape the frame, leading to one of the scariest rides home, and me going to the bar I later 86’d myself from only to meet her there, where we later went to the bar I later got 86’d from, then to Denny’s where I got her to kiss me, then to a local park since I couldn’t put enough money on my card for the local hotel, where we did pretty much everything except the major acts. Made the mistake of not getting her number then, but luckily did later twice (she managed to crunch her phone in her trunk so I had to find her and get it again), and the rest is history: the first epic night she came over leading to several sex noise complaints, her ex husband tracking her phone to my place and ending up calling my phone number he pulled off her account, while outside my window within earshot of her (man was she loud). Parties and bars and restaurants we’ve closed down, some quite literally. Me coming to her rescue several times. Other stories that again I’ll remember once this is published. I’ll leave it at this: I think it’s safe to say not just 5 years ago I saw literally none of this coming.

“Pictured: my go to screenshots when someone questions my ability in bed.”

Which brings up an interesting question and simultaneously one of the stupidest ones outside of “what’s the order number” even though the chick is literally holding the only order in the building: “where do you see yourself in 5 years?”. Ever get that question at an interview? The last time I got it was applying for a delivery job at a Jimmy John’s a couple of miles from the folks up here whose couch I was sleeping on, back when I didn’t even have a job and went to after interviewing with some kid working for that Kirby vacuum company; even had to fix a flat on the way, in the rain mind you. Still remember her name to this day: Bethany (another name I’ll have to add to the list of names of women I don’t trust). If I remember rightly, my answer was along the lines of perhaps becoming the manager there but honestly not really knowing because no one can really predict the future. And guess who was right! Didn’t matter of course, though it’s quite a thing to be asked that by a girl younger than you are, of which every other Jimmy John’s I tried applying to also had as “managers”, one of which told me that if I couldn’t bother showing up on time I wasn’t worth her time, even though she told me to show up after 4pm and I showed up at 4:10 with a limp from my bike losing it’s front wheel while going downhill at 35mph (just why don’t I take women seriously anymore @nick_schulaner?). Funny enough, the job I have now pays WAY more than anyone at Jimmy John’s makes save for maybe the actual managers, and Bethany since then no longer works there, the reason of which I won’t assume she found a man to mould herself around and get impregnated by. But if I today went back in time to that guy that just answered perhaps the stupidest fucking question ever asked, and told him just half of what I said here, there’s no way even I back then wouldn’t have believed I was seeing what I looked like now, let alone anything I was saying, and I was pretty open minded back then. But, stupid as it may be, and given just the wild ride it’s been since I’ve been at this place of residence with where I’m moving to next still up in the air, I have to ask myself that exact same question. Just a thought of mine, but I think the question only makes sense when you ask yourself, given only you have any real control over where your life is headed, depending on your actions, your investments, and most importantly the mindset that drives both. So as I ask myself, and implore you to do the same:

“Check the cover: literally can’t make this up. ”

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

“For starters: inside someone that looks like this.”

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