15 Minute Philosophy: Air (Audio)

This will be under the next This Week I Philosophy, complete with the pictures of my current set up. For now, here’s the audio and the article itself. Link to the original post that has the pics is also below!

View this post on Instagram

"Not as vital as fire, but a vital element to master." Air So I usually end up chatting with the employees at the vendors I service, often because I arrive before my order is packaged and ready to go, these days through some sort of face covering they're wearing. I don't exactly recall just how this came up, but one of my vendors asked me how I managed to keep cool during the last heat wave without air conditioning, admitting she came to work that weekend just because they had it. I told her about the various window fans I use and she was intrigued, so I told her I'd make a video or some sort of post about it. And after forgetting to do it the last couple of days, I realised, since quite a few of you Fornicators may be cooped up working and cooking and Hades knows what else at home, you also might find this info useful as well, so why not tell you about it too? Don't ever say I didn't do a good thing for free! Sit on your ottoman and practise your female based martial art style like @erikajordan and read on below. Happy Wisdom Wednesday! #thegoddamnbacon #laughterathumanityshow #roguephilosopher #betterthannormal #zerofucksgiven #coronavirus #coronavirüs #airconditioning #airconditioner #aircon #airflow #air #airelement #elementalmaster #element #stayathome #stayhome #staythefuckhome #lockdown2020 #quarantineandchill #dontbeweak #kungflu #stayhomestaysafe #stayhomestayhealthy #wisdomwednesday #humpdayvibes #wednesdaywisdom #wednesdayvibes #wednesdaymood #workathome

A post shared by The Goddamn Bacon (@thegoddamnbacon) on

MP3:15MinPhi-Air

“Not as vital as fire, but a vital element to master.”

 

So I usually end up chatting with the employees at the vendors I service, often because I arrive before my order is packaged and ready to go, these days through some sort of face covering they’re wearing. I don’t exactly recall just how this came up, but one of my vendors asked me how I managed to keep cool during the last heat wave without air conditioning, admitting she came to work that weekend just because they had it. I told her about the various window fans I use and she was intrigued, so I told her I’d make a video or some sort of post about it. And after forgetting to do it the last couple of days, I realised, since quite a few of you Fornicators may be cooped up working and cooking and Hades knows what else at home, you also might find this info useful as well, so why not tell you about it too? Don’t ever say I didn’t do a good thing for free!

 

A quick backstory: I grew up in L.A., a notoriously year round hot place, and depending on where you are, can be quite muggy at times (although these days apparently they’ve swapped weather patterns with Cascadia). During the last year of living there, I learned to use the natural Santa Ana winds (those who know, know) to keep cool, given the front of the house faced east and had windows on both sides that could funnel air through them. However, I learned during moving to different parts of the Eastern Sierras that this doesn’t apply everywhere, and I tried the same trick with various results, forcing me to use all kinds of fans to try to get the air where I wanted. These days here in one of the warmer cities of Cascadia during the summer, where there is almost no natural wind going through without a storm, it is vital to get airflow through here to stay comfortable let alone not miserable, as both I and Hot Russian Ex learned our first year here which I called the mosquito summer of hell; that was the closest I ever came to paying for central air conditioning, as the only options at the time were keeping the buggers out and boiling (while cooking at home with natural gas no less), or keeping the windows and doors open and playing whack a mole on our bodies all night (ever try to have sex while being attacked by flying dirty hypodermic needles? A different kind of fun let me assure you).

 

After doing some research (I never gave it too much thought beforehand), I found out that mosquitoes are attracted to both more blue shifted light (we were running CFL bulbs at the time, which I later changed to LED’s that, alongside running a lot cooler and much lower energy for the same amount of light, also only emits visible radiation in specific spectrums unlike other types of bulbs, making it harder for insects to see them), and carbon dioxide which, in case you didn’t know, builds up quite a bit in enclosed spaces. Meaning, just like these fucking retards wearing surgical masks, bandanas and other face coverings while standing 6 Feet away and whatever else someone told them to do to not die of the adjunct beer pneumonia, if you’re indoors for an extended amount of time especially with a lot of other oxygen breathing organisms, you will end up with a surplus of extra aerial carbon in your atmosphere, which you hopefully realise isn’t exactly good for your health; last I heard the air in enclosed spaces, including cubicles in skyscrapers (remember when those were a thing?) can be up to 70 times dirtier than the air outside, and that was in L.A. itself! So, outside of an HVAC system that moves the air for you, it’s kind of important to get some fresh air through your lair, particularly if you’re gonna be there for a while, and especially if the sun is raining radiation on you with extreme prejudice.

 

All that being said, how do I keep The Basement that’s also upstairs (another lesson learned: heat rises, meaning the higher up your lair is, the hotter it gets, though this has it’s benefits when it’s colder out) aerated and comfy? Simple, though I’ll keep this part brief as it was quite a bit of trial and error. First, the bedroom: important given you want to keep yourself and whoever you just filled with a load of semen cool under the covers as the sun rises and starts to bake the walls (the bedroom, bath and kitchen walls here face eastward with no surrounding cover, meaning the sun has a direct line of sight). The window fan selected for this task is a Bionaire multi setting twin fan, which can be set to Intake, Exhaust, and Exchange where the right fan acts as the exhaust and mixes the air. For the most part I have it set to exchange, reason being that helps keep out any airborne particulates, especially with the bath window being close to it (the exhaust side covers that side luckily). I also have it set as far to the other side as possible, which given the window is at the corner of the bedroom helps positioning the intake more central.

 

Bathroom: the first place I put a window fan in, and also the way we found out just how many cracks in the lair there were (“I can feel the air coming over my feet under the couch.” – Hot Russian Ex), meaning we burned a lot more gas than we needed to and helped me patch all of the holes. This one is a triple fan that can have 1-3 operate at any one time, 1st the center, 2nd the two side one, 3rd setting is all three. Unless I’m just keeping the bathroom aerated with just the 2nd setting it’s almost always set to exhaust, usually with the sides open a bit toallow any bleed air in if the other fans aren’t in operation for whatever reason or the bathroom door is closed to help cycle out any water vapor after showering (the main way I keep condensation out of the lair, which is kind of important in Cascadia). Also of note: the windows are old sliders, which allows air to flow through the 2 panes when open; I use the blinds to direct that air and further circulate it through the bathroom.

 

Kitchen: the other place I used the bathroom fan while I was setting things on fire and after bedtime to draw air through the open bedroom window (I can’t imagine why it burned out so fast). This is the same model used in the bedroom, but with it positioned as far to the right as possible to pull in as much smoke from the oven as possible. As this is also a mostly dedicated exhaust as well, this one is insulated as such and can be completely sealed from any bleed air, though it’s usually operated with a bit of bleed air on the entrance side to help keep smoke out of the other rooms.

 

Finally, the living room window. This one does not utilise fans and likely will not for the foreseeable future, though I have a few ideas for that. This is only opened when there are wildfire around putting a bunch of smoke in the atmosphere, which is important given I’m particularly sensitive to airborne particulates (which is why I know more about masks and air purification than you mouth breathing muppets that just heard of the N95 rating this decade). Back in 2018 was a particularly heavy year for forest fires (thanks Canadia!), and aside from buying the last P100 respirator from the local hardware shop (not too effective against nerve agents, but works well with plutonium) to go outside, I installed the highest rated furnace filters in it with a piece of rear to support them and set every fan to exhaust, sealing every source of bleed air and the fans to high (it didn’t help it was hot as an ovulating woman on the back seat of a biker’s Harley). This is also how I learned that furnace filters aren’t exactly designed to handle airflow at approximately 3000 CFM (Cubic Feet per Minute, or about 6 times the amount of square feet of my lair): they’re rated to last up to 3 months, I could see smoke coming through on day 4. Made it through that night by spending it in the air conditioned bedroom of the Big Boobed Blonde nurse that regularly invited me over at the time, and bought a second pair the following morning. Luckily the smoke cleared out the next few days after THOSE filters also wore out.

 

Internal fans: but wait, there’s more! Helping direct air wherever I need it to go are a few other fans. Aside from the ceiling fan that came with the place, one I picked up pretty cheaply is a high velocity stand up fan rated at 1,532 CMF, replacing the old Comfort Zone one I’ve had since living in the first apartment in June Lake that’s on it’s last legs: I’ll be getting a new one now that Amazon is back open for business. Supporting that is a ground level high velocity metal fan, which aside from serving as a supporting heater fan (replacing the plastic box fan I’ve had since the age of 5 that spent it’s last days directing wall furnace air around the living room, with predictable results to everyone except me back then), also serves as an air circulator alongside the stand up fan in the bathroom after showering; usually completely dries it up in about a half hour, or about 13 times as fast as just leaving the window open like the Hot Russian Ex preferred to do and then wondered why there was mold forming on the ceiling.

 

Finally: why didn’t I just get an air conditioner, which also acts as a filter and dehumidifier, even though I used Consumer Reports to find the best one available; wouldn’t that be far simpler and more turn key than running a million different fans? Well for one, even after paying for all of the replacement fans, monetary wise I still come out with change to spare. Second, air conditioners wouldn’t be as effective in clearing out water vapor after showering. Third, same for smoke if I’m setting my dinner on fire in the Eat Box (official name for the kitchen), and keeping it out of the Shake Shack (official name for the bedroom). Fourth, the setup I have now is unparalleled in terms of air circulation, and directing the air where I want it to go: should I need to clear out some air in the Shake Shack, for some odd reason for example, I can easily set the kitchen fan to intake and the bedroom one to exhaust. Finally, I’ve checked the amp ratings of both the best air conditioner available and every fan I own: A/C: 8 amps. My setup: 7.5 max. Although we have the cheapest electricity in the country if not the planet alongside natural gas (utility bill, funny enough, just came in the email: less than 9¢/kilowatt), every bit helps keep the bottles of tequila and bourbon topped off.

 

So that’s my set up. A bit complicated to say the least, and rather personalised, but it’s the most effective home styled HVAC system I could argue ever made, and even inspired the neighbours next door to install similar systems in their lair. Obviously this would need adjustment according to different abodes, but this should serve as a decent example for you to build off of, tailor to suit your place and purposes. Hope this helps!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *