“DUDEBRO WHERE MUH PATRIOTS AT LET’S GET THE MAGA ARMY GOING RETWEET AND COMMENT YOUR HANDLE BELOW I FOLLOW BACK GET ME TO 1 MILLION FOLLOWS BRAH!”
Was going to make this it’s own post but might as well bring it up here: depending on who you actually do follow on twitter, you might have seen some iteration of this no less than 556 million times. I won’t lie: I did comment some of these, mainly for my own nefarious purposes, but even then it was a bit of a… turn off, for lack of a better word. Why follow someone just for follows? I’ve gotten flak (shocker, I know: keep reading for more) for not having the largest audience out there, but my take is that those with huge audiences either literally paid for them (yes: that’s a thing, ask me how I know) or they got a blind following due to some public circumstance. Criticise me all you want, but I personally am glad for the following I do have: at least those who choose to follow me do so for the content I put out, not because of the labels I hide behind; it is truly me and me alone that provides the value people choose to watch, on a shoestring budget no less. So what value do these MAGA army trump train profiles provide for your follow?
Glad you asked, cause I just found out.
A couple of things to get out of the way first. For starters, for those of you that never thought to ask or had other assumptions: My political affiliation is Unbound, meaning I don’t associate with any political party. The closest comparison would be Anarchy, and given that almost no one knows what that means anymore and associates it with “warlords and tyrants and riots and burn this motherfucker down” you may understand why I have chosen to avoid this title, the other reason another post entirely. The second, for those of you that are new to this programme, I’ve been online and making arguments publicly for over 13 years: what I do is rarely by accident, and comes with a lot of on the job training and experience so to speak; I started mainly in the dating and relationships arena, but I’ve done battle in just about every topic out there, including politics. Related to this: I’m a fighter by mindset. Despite my in the ring demeanor of dragging things out as my instructors would tell you, I end fights as soon as I can with the best weaponry available with as minimal damage taken, as anyone with combat experience will tell you. Hell, as far as arguments go, type that word in my search bar and Combat Martial Arguments should pop up: that’s one summation of what I’ve learned over the years. Keep all of this in mind as we continue, there’s a reason I laid all this out.
“Let’s see how much we have in common…. ”
So would I consider myself a patriot, having been born in the US and choosing to live here to this day? Fuck no. The lights are still on, the water is still flowing, and the bread and circuses are still going on, and partake and keep it going as best I can I will. But this country is doomed, especially if you think politics will save it. This in part is where I came up with the concept of both Retardism, which is the opposite of reality (this is what Clown World is based on), & the 95%: that’s the amount of the population infected with Retardism and is the reason society is fucked up down to the genetic level, and needs to be painfully wiped out of existence in order for humanity to be great again. Just talking politics, I think we can agree that if you’re reading this you clearly see it in the leftist side especially now: they’re not just not hiding it, they’re blatantly putting it out there for humanity to see, and they’re still so fucking retarded they either ignore or normalise it. But even assuming all Democrats and socialists and other assorted flavours are on that list at best that gives you a bit over 50% of the population. So where’s the other 45%?
They’re your patriots. A suspicion I just confirmed over the last couple of nights.
Aaron Clarey (AssholeConsulting.com) said it first to my knowledge, and I’ve been poking fun at the right wing side myself, if only because it gets boring to pick on lefties because it’s too repetitive: sure, you’ve got your $1,500 AR-15 with $2,000 worth of accessories and a spare crate of 5.56×45 NATO ammo that doubles as a dinner table, and a sidearm Glock/S&W/Sig Sauer/Ruger used to get to your AR with a spare ammo can of 9X19mm as a door stop. But how many of you can drop and give me 20, let alone lug that shit up a mountain? How many of you, as Joe Dolio (Tactical-Wisdom.com) rightly points out, can dress a wound or a broken bone, if you even have a first aid kit capable of doing either in the first place? How many of you even train in real life scenarios rather than larp around with your gear, but only if it’s nice out and not raining (true story: a group did just that, called it a day once it started sprinkling)? Hell, as Cappy himself pointed out, how many of these people who denounce all the evils of Marxism and socialism also pay for THEIR FUCKING CHILDREN to go to colleges filled with Marxists and socialists? As I’ve said with arguing online, it’s easy to talk a big game, but much harder to walk it, and these paper tigers marching as patriots are no different.
Case in point: the last couple of days. If you follow me @baconcomments you may know where this is going. Yes, I managed to stir up quite the Murder Hornets nest yet again. Care to guess which one?
“If you guessed ‘MUH MAGA PATRIOTS’, congrats, you win a prize!”
In fairness, this isn’t quite something I 100% saw coming especially in the way it did. In fact, even I was a bit disturbed by how things shook out. But I’m glad it did the way it did. For starters, the insults came right out of the gate, the name calling and the shaming of any of my works (this installment probably included) and everything not bolted to the kitchen sink. Pond scum, misogynist, racist, commie, tiny penis (if they only knew), woman, salad, you name it. In fairness, some of those stemmed from my own shots fired: one of the lessons learned was that when in Soviet Russia, use Soviet weaponry, and as I predicted it was super effective; got right under their skin. Now you may be asking why I would resort to that kind of language in the first place, which is a fair question. In my defence, I did try to reason at first, but my experience told me that was one of the 95% of cases reason wouldn’t even be recognised, so I switched to short circuiting tactics, which on any reasonable people (I’ll pause for you to get off the floor after laughing so hard) that at least gets their attention enough that they ask what I’m getting at. Once that failed, I knew there was no point trying to be nice at all (ask me how I know!) and proceeded to lay into them, of which then the flood gates opened up and the online MAGA army came out to play, with all the insults and circle jerking and belittling you’d expect from leftists. Now you may ask: how do I know?
“Different day, same shit.”
Because these are online arguments I’ve had so many times I lost count: environmentalists, vegans, feminists, socialists, etc. But the most recent and eerily similar? CHAZ. Yes, they had damn near the same playbook that the occupied zoners used once I got so pissed at one of their street clogging marches and found their communications hashtag and told them directly the next time I ran into one of these I wasn’t turning around. They too accusing me of among other choice things, “crying”, living in mommies basement, and my personal favourite, noodly arms.
“Can you tell the difference?”
“That’s Mr. Noodly Arms by the way. Wish I got one of those screenshots before I blocked his sorry ass.”
Now in fairness, in both cases most of the participants knew it devolved to a fight by the time they joined, and were defending their online buddies as you would hope your real life buddies would do, although reason was still on the table for those who were willing to reach for it.
“Just can’t
See why
Take women
Seriously anymore
Not one
Example to
Show why.”
The difference is that at least with CHAZ we had a legitimate disagreement about the marches and riots and affecting the very causes they “stood” for, so for all of their faults at least that fighting made sense, especially since I went in guns blazing. Most of these MAGAssholes, on the other hand, had no idea why all of this started, and I know this because I asked them directly and they said they didn’t know nor cared about the context; they were just there because one of theirs felt insulted (GUESS THE GENDER!) and came to “slap” me around for daring to say what I said. I don’t know about you, but as far as I’m concerned that alone makes them worse than the side they’re supposedly against: at least we knew what the argument was about. So what sparked all of this off in the first place?
I shit you not: razors. Women’s fucking razors.
“Thanks Houston!”
Specifically I heard a case that the reason women’s razors were more expensive than men’s razors is because women might have more real estate to shave, something I had not thought of and stated as much. This got the attention of Houston (HoustonSubGirl.com), a woman mind you, of which she took off on her own rant about women’s razors being more pricey because women keep paying for it, a point I do not disagree with. This got the attention of another woman that disagreed with her, the tinder profile I ended up striking that got this entire dumpster fire started. Perhaps I should’ve been more diplomatic, but my spidey senses told me that was a waste of time, of which Houston vindicated me on by trying to reason with her in vain, and on top of that my comment trying to play devil’s advocate was right there for her to see in the first place.
“The Dark Side: because no good deed goes unpunished.”
Did the MAGA mob know about this or even think to ask? No. Did they try to find out why this escalated the way it did? Take a wild fucking guess. Yes, this turned into a dumpster fire, but last I checked, the right side was supposed to be the side of reason and actual tolerance, so you would think the above questions might’ve been asked at some point. You’d think, this being the side of reality and peaceful Christianity, at least one cool head might’ve showed up and try to deescalate the situation and find out just what the actual fuck was going on. Nope: just like the “tolerant” left, they went full retard attack bot. And this, as my Liberal buddy likes to point out, is supposed to be my team?
“Again, show me the difference.”
If you didn’t know why I took the republican Conservative patriot side of things, even though I’ve defended their side and many of their arguments, now you know. Because, despite what they say they stand for, in reality they’re no better than the side they oppose. Not that I need any defending or sympathy, but look at how they treated someone that’s sided with them in the past and was contemplating allying with in the future, someone that’s backed them in numerous engagements might’ve even joined their Trump Train just to get maybe 4 more years of bread and circuses and preparation for the end of the world. But now, after all this bullfuck? Just looking at all the talk of racism/sexism, after watching just how many of you focused so hard on shit you and I were born with, how can you say the left wasn’t wrong for blanket calling you bigots? Even more pathetic: how many of you got hung up on autocorrect typos and other language faux passes, and you fucks are supposed to be on the side of reality over wording? How many of you, on a related note, trashed anything I produced whether justified or not, just to talk shit?
“This is what a published author had to say about this very post: was just waiting to get his go ahead to screenshot this. SafetyPhD.com is his outfit by the way.”
After all of this, the hell if I’m siding with any of you assholes especially publicly: I will continue to take everyone on an individual basis and by reference from verified good people. And as far as patriotism, I’ll treat it as I do my employment and my relationships: I’m here as long as it benefits me and until something better comes along.
“It’s called Team Let Em Burn for a reason.”
“Meanwhile, you didn’t think I was kidding about the sperg and jerk, did you?”
Not all was negative out of this episode however. For one, even though some of the patriotards made threats of violence as one does from the safety of their smartphones, none of them tried to dox me as far as I know, a common tactic of the left; at least as far as that goes they kept it civil. Another thing stemmed from BullRush’s (etsy.com/LazarusRazors) suggested tactic of agree and amplify (of which I was using my own modified version of), was it had the effect of getting through to some of them. Sure: plenty of the right wingers still took the bait hook line and sinker, even when my replies were just “yes you are right” in response to their insults. But some of them started to question what was going on, to the point we were actually able to have a civil discussion. Now my final act was going to reply and mute all of them, if for no other reason than that their comments were spamming my notifications tab and drowning out everyone else, and also so they could keep talking and jerking each other off thinking they were rolling me up when in fact I don’t even notice and move on, and I’m sure quite a few will be on that list good riddance.
“REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
“Meanwhile, this guy takes the cake on the 100% self unaware comments. A commie that rejects government? #WinningNooooo”
But for those that can actually be reasoned with, this is for you. I understand where the ire came from, the lack of reasoning beforehand nonwithstanding, and some of you may continue to hate me; that’s fine. But look back at what you did. You trashed a potential ally to your cause in literally every way you could think of, and for what, fucking words? At what point did you actually think you had the high ground here? At what point did you think you were doing any good talking shit to someone you didn’t even take the time to find out was? And truthfully, a lot of you acted like the violent and hateful bigots the leftists call you: when push came to shove, you acted just like your stated adversaries. I don’t say this to shame you: I say this because it’s the truth, and that hopefully you learn from this and it helps your stated causes. All of us still have lesson to grow from, myself included; this happens to be an important one I hope gets through to you, and if it doesn’t, we’ll you can’t say I didn’t try. But if nothing else, ask yourself: aren’t yall tired of losing most of the time?
“For everyone asking for patriots to follow you: you catch more with sweetness than bitterness, like this eye candy I’m just saiyan.”