Social Soviet Union: Laughter At Humanity Show Random Blowing Off Steam At The Park Special

“Once everything is illegal, nothing will be.”

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CaptainCapitalism.blogspot.com, AssholeConsulting.com, GaryAndDino.com, SafetyPhD.com, ChildOfTruth.com, & NickSchulaner.com

Special Shoutout: BigAngryPhil.com

You know what they say: you only get flak if you’re bombing the right targets, and apparently I scored a direct hit without trying! Is there any point in reasoning with monopolies, and is there something wrong with those who stand out in society versus society itself? Ensure you’ve added exactly 7 3/4 spritzes of orange bitters to your middle shelf bourbon and tune in!

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ban all the things show

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Anger’s Your Savior: Laughter At Humanity Show Just Order It Online Special

When it’s impossible to win the game by playing the rules, change the game.” – Grandmaster Dennis Horton

Plenty of life lessons were learned and cemented in my head this week, and here I am to pass them along to you; you’re very welcome! Is it worthgoing to a retail store to get your stuff anymore, and did someone get offended to the point of actually sliding into my Dm’s because I called him out on his shit? Tune in and find out below!

MP3 Download Here: Instagram fuckery

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Article discussed here: http://thegoddamnbacon.com/combat-martial-arguments-the-reality-of-dealing-with-nitpickers

Artist link: madebyjimbob.com and can be found at @madebyjimbob

Podcast Party Pandemonium: Laughter At Humanity Show On The Road Extravaganza

“When all’s said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it’s not so much which road you take, as how you take it.” – Charles de Lint

FINALLY took some well earned, well needed time off to get out of the Pacific NorthWest to recoup some of my sanity. So how did I get away from driving for a living to go on vacation? If you guessed even more driving, you’d be correct! Is it worth going to a party some random podcast decided to throw in the middle of a desert, and how did the old family react to their own offspring growing into a real life cartoon villain? Line up a cavalcade of your finest scotches, because this is quite the journey to listen to, down below!

Episode 1: Shit Show Express! Albany!

Episode 2: Three Sheets Brewery! California!

Episode 3: Home Sweet Home! Vegas!

Episode 4: Gary And Dino! Gary & Dino!

Episode 5: Extreme Bar Takeover! Bar Take Over

Episode 6: The Party Continues! bonus hours!

Episode 7: Women’s Rolling Trainwreck! Sacramento!

(Show Note: I have no idea why I named that file Sacramento. Did pass through that city and it’s rush hour traffic however, so maybe that’s why.)

Episode 8: Escaping Communist California! Lancaster!

Episode 9: Oregonian Fire Bender! Oregonian Firebender!

Episode 10: Returning Home Intact! Touchdown!

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Harassing Instagram Models: Laughter At Humanity Show July 4th Postmortem Special

“The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.” -Rich Cooper

Did you guys make it through the 4th Of July Weekend without losing any digits or in desperate need of skin grafts? I did, and had some delicious wagyu bavette steak strips to boot! Can you tell whether a girl puts in the work at the gym from pics alone, and can guys act like women and be retarded enough to spend money on the dumbest things imaginable? Take yourself a couple shots of 100% agave tequila and listen, down below!

Download Here: July 4th post mortem 1

Direct Listen Here:

Models: @daretaylorofficial, @daniellachavezofficial, @sugartabi.

Link To Article Here:

https://www.insider.com/instagram-star-belle-delphine-sold-used-bath-water-2019-7

Pics of Taylor’s Comments:

Impossibly Unfixable Stupidity: Laughter At Humanity Show Fourth Of July Special

‘Those unable to learn through reason and evidence will have to learn through painful experience.” -Stefan Molyneux/The Goddamn Bacon

Happy Drunken Barbecue And Explosives Day Motherfuckers and Fuckingmothers! While all of you are preparing all of the sides of food that’ll make you fat which you’ll blame the meat for and calculating how many gallons of burn cream and finger splints you’ll need for the 5th, I was right here producing content for your enjoyment and aggravation! Is it worth saving people from their own impending misfortunes, and is the date of the founding of the eventual American empire anything more than a holiday akin to the superbowl? Head right on down below to find out!

Happy Fourth! fourth of July special

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Links to articles so you don’t have to look for them:

Following Rome’s Footsteps: The Reality of America’s Freedom

Producers Over Parasites: The Simple Path To Save The United States

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Wiccan Dog Walker: Laughter AT Humanity Show Never Take Women Seriously Spectacular

“See, I just can’t see why I  don’t trust women anymore….” – The Great One, Himself (paraphrased)

It finally happened: the script of the “we can be friends afterwards” has finally concluded, and I give quite the debriefing. on the matter! Am I just a sexist misogynist that’s salty that the priestess moved on to a guy with a bigger wallet, or are there more examples in the real world that makes me have such a low opinion of the female contingent of humanity? Scroll on down below and hear the full story for yourself!

Episode 1: Wiccan Dog Walker: Wiccan Dog Walker !

Episode 2: Not The Father: Wiccan Why I Dont Take Women S

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Pic Credit to Stephanie Marie who, though even she has bigger boobs than her, is the closest I could find to the dog walker as far as she looked when she took me to her bedroom.

Happy Pride Month: The Laughter AT Humanity Show Father’s Day Spectacular!

“Fuck you Target, I just want some God damned shoes!” – Aaron Clarey

Episode 1. I learned this month was something called National Pride Month. Did you know about this month long holiday called Pride Month? I didn’t, so I decided to look it up! Did I learn more about adversities that homosexuals have to face, and is there real pride in a trait you were born with? Let’s find out, down below!

Direct MP3 Download:

Laughter Gay Pride

Episode 2. It WAS Father’s Day, so I decided to talk about terrorizing the family, eating free and delicious food, and other things I’m not technically qualified to talk about to, meaning I am the CORRECT person to listen to! Did I celebrate the holiday in good fashion, and do I have better reasoning and care for kids than even their parents? There’s one way to find out!

Direct MP3 Download:

fathers day recording

BONUS CONTENT! Decided to break open the headset to do some in the cockpit recording! How did I have time to set this up while on a freeway on ramp, and will this show end up being roadworthy? Tune in, and enjoy!

Direct MP3 Download:

construction rant and trip planning 1

Bonus #2: The good times continued to roll after the Father’s Day Live Show, and since I had extra whiskey on hand I decided to launch the first ever Ask Bacon Anything! Does this technically qualify as overclocking, and was the Hot Russian Spy trying to kill me on my own birthday? Dive in to find out!

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near death live stream

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Isn’t Beautiful: The Reality of the Fat Acceptance Movement

“The number one commodity today behind female beauty, are lies.” – The Goddamn Bacon
The following is an edited conversation with a good friend of the program here on Instagram, who has also provided a lot of the content that’ll be coming up on the next Laughter At Humanity Show. I thought it was good enough to be a good short article here; hopefully you find this enjoyable and insightful:
“Yeah I’ll definitely go a bit deeper into this on the show. But think about it logically: 1. Physically, it’s not healthy, for reasons we don’t need to get into, and 2. Guys aren’t attracted to fat. You can make the case for really destitute times in DurkaDelhiStan where a bit of extra body fat was a good thing (because it meant you were royalty and had excess calories around), or the “exception to the rule” who really is so solipsistic she only cares about her own opinion and likes being “curvy”, even though she feels the need to “broad”cast it (GET IT!?) to the world like that Tacoma chick; we can safely leave those discussions amongst the children to nitpick over while the adults have an actual conversation.
Anyway, here’s the truth of the matter: 1. If they REALLY cared about “body positivity”, there wouldn’t be a need to broadcast it all over the place, and there wouldn’t even be a term like “bodyshaming”: the vast majority of the movement is over something in their control such as being fat or being tatted up everywhere or other bad body decisions, and even if it were for things outside of your control such as a facial deformation or a missing appendage, most people already look down on someone mocking them. And 2. All women know DAMN well what other people want, especially guys. You know one of the reasons I post pictures of hot girls who may or may not be the league of entering my bed? Because those girls, who could be mocked for offering not much else of value, at least acknowledge what other people want, keep themselves in shape, and fucking deliver it. These “body positive” fucks also know what we want, and instead are trying to feed us a fat sandwich when we clearly want lean meat.
That which is a lie has to be propagandized and repeated. Again, those girls I post, some of them barely have to do any advertising, and they’ll headline on here just on clicks alone. These lying sacks have to shout “BIG IS BEAUTIFUL AND IF YOU DON’T LOVE OUR CURVES YOU’RE A FAT SHAMING SEXIST!!!” from the rooftops because they damn well know it’s a lie, both to themselves and to everyone else, and you wanna know why they do this? There’s a deeper reason for this, but the short answer is that they’re lazy. It’s easier to eat like shit and not hit the gym than it is to stay in shape and maybe put down the Hot Pockets every other day. And they’re so pathetic they can’t even do that, and they know it!
Of course, the instant response to this will be the “model” argument. “You just want all women to be skinny twigs!” “Real Men like women with meat on their bones!”. And my favorite: “Well we can’t all look like that!” The whole “Model” argument, as you might start noticing, is just another pivot designed to draw you back to their conclusion and not to convince you of what is true because again, these sacks are lying and they know it: they’d rather control your thoughts than face reality. Just as an aside, you know the reason guys have posters of super fast exotic cars, or when they grow up and become mechanics, signs outside their shop (or, if you’re Rich Cooper, doing podcasts in them)? Because their rare and they stand out. This is also why beautiful women don’t really need to advertise: they stand out. Of course not everyone can be a model: if that were true, there could be no such thing as a model, because they wouldn’t have the rarity to stand out. But you CAN actually keep yourself in shape and eat relatively healthy, since clearly we’re not exactly wanting for food here.
But again, the reason these people are deadset on telling you that they’re beautiful, rather than actually working on being beautiful, is because they’re lazy, and it’s easier to complain and convince the weak minded than it is to put down the ice cream and do some squats. Fine, not every woman is going to look like Danielle Chavez or Gabrielle Union, just like not every guy is going to look like Idris Elba or Chris Evans. But you can damn well at least put in the effort and try! Who knows, maybe to whoever you end up partnering up with might find you even hotter because guess what? The models barely have to work for it: you, by actually working for it, have the extra value of hard work and experience behind whatever good looks you get from hitting the gym and not being lazy, AND it’ll make you appreciate the hard work other people you’re around put in. Not to mention the sheer amount of benefits it gives you down the road of facing reality, rather than running from it.
So which one do you think is going to be the easier path down the road: lifting heavy shit, eating healthy, and putting the effort into giving other people what they want? Or sitting on your ass, subsisting on chocolate cake, and whining about how people don’t believe your increasing number of curves are beautiful?

Homelessness And Cigars: The Laughter At Humanity Show Double Special

“I love it when people suffer. Because if they don’t eventually we all will.” – The Goddamn Bacon

Man, Saturday was so jam packed with fucktardery I didn’t even get to the seafood sickness stories I had in store, which in retrospect is probably a good thing! Part One is the recording about the human manifestation of bubonic plague that is the homeless population here: one about how just one of them costs untold thousands of wasted hours, another detailing why I was up until 5am and not involving a woman in bed. Part Two is the late night bourbon fueled story telling about the misadventure of bringing a cigar to the smoking area populated by cigarette smokers and why an off duty police officer got involved. Did accidentally raise more hell than I actually solved, and were any homeless encampments mysteriously set ablaze? Find out, down below!

Part One Here:

MP3 Download Here:

Hating The Homeless Laughter A

Part Two Here:

MP3 Download Here:

drunk fighting show

Article here:

https://www.foxnews.com/us/new-hampshire-cafeteria-student-free-meal-job-offer

Downloadable Eye Candy Pic Here:

Over Caffinated Chaos: The Laughter At Humanity Show Mother’s Day Special

“What could POSSIBLY Go Wrong!?” – Utterly Jordan

Up 2 days late because of other bouts of chaos, the debut of what I’m callin The Laughter At Humanity Show is here! Included are lessons about being banned on twitter and privacy, how livestreaming on Instagram is supposed to work, a progressive example of why taking a listeners advice of drinking energy drinks is a bad idea (note: maybe don’t try this after your daily cup of coffee), and a special guest appearance halfway through reading an article about why the vast majority of vegans go back to eating real food. Is any of the audio quality enough to listen to, or will these be  a solid hour of pure ear rape? Find out, down below!

Listen Directly Here:

MP3 Download Here:

Mothers Day Ramblethon Laughter At Humanity Show

Article Link:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/animals-and-us/201412/84-vegetarians-and-vegans-return-meat-why

Downloadable Hot Chick Pic Here: