“I’d rather die on my feet than live a life on my knees.” – Pancho Villa
MP3: 15MinPhi Virtue
Wednesday, 12:40, June 3rd 2020. All is mostly peaceful here, or completely peaceful regarding my place of residence: pretty nice out with little traffic going by, window fans are bringing in relatively fresh air, the downstairs neighbours are playing their own music. All is well, at least until 9pm when everyone must be locked inside else murder everything will descend upon us. So what’s the latest catastrophe going around lately? Oh nothing, just some black guy got himself killed by a police officer during an arrest yet again, and the entire fucking country decided to lose it’s shit, primarily white people and women, yet again. I first heard of this particular case on Twitter (thank god I’m back on that, said for the first time by anybody this decade: helps to follow the right people!), most notably rioters burning down the CNN headquarters in Atlanta; had fun with that particular case! But then it started to spread out from there, with riots breaking out in just about every major city: Los Angeles (of course), San Francisco (again, of course), Austin, New York, even places you probably wouldn’t have thought of like Scottsdale and Salt Lake City. Even the Safety Doc documented fires down the street of his own home, and he’s near Wisconson. And if you’re wondering if it was happening here in Cascadia, you would be correct where I was wrong: shit was getting burned down in both Seattle and Portland alongside the major suburbs, with curfews soon ensuing, one being announced live on the show! Meanwhile, online everyone took to twitter and Instagram and probably facebook to express their sorrow and shame for the tragic killing of yet another black man by the tyrannical state, the same state that just gave them $1,200 cash and probably another $3,000 for their collective brood of children from 7 different fathers, do the maths. A whole lot of virtue signalling went on and is likely still going as I type this, but what effect has this had really?
Well for starters, I lost out on a large chunk of my income with the threat of that being permanent, and I nearly had to announce Defcon 2 to my followers based on what I was seeing around me. Meanwhile I’ve laid into every fucking person I know doing the virtue signalling online, the latest being the black face screening on instagram. Tom Leykis, various models, even got into it with Patty who posted a story of some black guy about my size stating he was afraid to walk outside of his own front door, who I rightfully called a pathetic race baiting coward. At this point, let me tell you just what makes me qualified to say what I said. The funniest thing is when I talk about racial issues people often assume I’m white, either because of my name or my avatar, and probably from a more affluent neighbourhood at that. I happen to be a mixed race black guy from Inglewood, with my earliest years in South Central (No one to this day calls it South L.A.), and yes, the distinction of being mixed is important. I’ve had my streets (yes, plural) blocked off after shootings. I’ve actually biked through an active gang shootout on my late grandmother’s block when I was 6 years old, prompting her, bad knees and all, to run out and drag me inside; there were casing markers on the driveway when my mother came to pick me up, along with a chalk outline. There’s a hundred plus stories I can tell you about living in the hood, but suffice it to say where I grew up was rough.
I have never been afraid to step outside my front door, let alone because of my fucking skin color.
“This guy, not so much.”
So yes, I called that guy a coward and pathetic. Patty did not take too well to this, and tried to shame me because “I didn’t know his story”. Perhaps, despite seeing me multiple times in person, was not aware I was a black man from one of the roughest areas of the country (yes Leykis, I know you’re from the Bronx). So I let her know. I don’t need to know that guy’s story: I’ve heard all of the “my skin color makes me oppressed by the White Man” narratives my entire childhood and much of my adulthood, thankfully not at home, and I have my own stories I can guarantee you top his. Oh, did you want one? Glad you asked! One day my friend at the time, my brother also of the time (long story), and I ended up getting pulled over, probably because my car wasn’t registered or didn’t have insurance; that’s how I had to roll way back when. I then (stupidly) got out of the driver’s seat to ask why I was pulled over (perhaps I had all my papers at the time!), prompting both officers to draw their side arms and point them at me, telling me to put my hands up. Long story short, multiple units arrive, my car was searched and emptied, including some old jewelry my friend snagged from his grandmother who supposedly didn’t want it anymore that we were taking to the pawn shop; don’t remember what happened with that. That ended up being the topic of interrogation, as all of us were asked our side of the story about why 3 teen aged guys were in possession of 80 year old jewelry by several different officers. In the end we were lined up, one of the officers took a green bandana and stuck it in my pocket, and yet another cruiser came by and shined a spotlight on us for about 5 or so minutes. After that, the cruiser left along with most of the other squad cars, and the ones that pulled us over in the first place apologised, stating that we (me spefically) fit the profiles of whoever the person in the last cruiser saw burglarised her house of jewelry, down to the lime green bandana; they even helped put some of my stuff back into the car.
“Does that give this a bit more context? How DARE I what again?”
Now one might look at that story and call that racial profiling (and trust you me, I have far more stories on top of that), especially given this was the LAPD back in 2008, and god knows what they’re up to now. Yes, it was a white and a Hispanic cop that pulled us over (all black or mostly black by the way), and most of the supporting officers that questioned us were white. You want to know who the only one that didn’t believe us was? If you guessed the only black officer that showed up, you win a prize! “I just don’t believe you.” is the sentence I’ll never forget. That wasn’t a new case, as most black cops were a lot harsher towards me in whatever case I had to deal with them. But it wasn’t just the cops that racially profiled me, black or otherwise. I’ve been dealing with racial profiling ever since I was a kid. Care to guess from who? That would be from other blacks. I got called all kinds of names, red bone being one of the nicer ones. Now you might say that kids will be kids and they’ll find ways to pick on you no matter what. This is true, though to what degree depends on just how abused said children are by those that raise them. Explain to me then why my now adult brother, who I grew up with, called me a coon amongst other racial insults once he found out I don’t quite follow the black culture party lines last November when I visited the folks still in Inglewood. You’d think family is the last place you’d experience actual racism. There’s a reason I don’t trust most of humanity.
“Thanks Lyft. I feel better already.”
Back to the current events that led to all hell breaking loose in just about every metropolitan area in the country and for some reason Amsterdam (your people Jack Napier!). Granted the unofficial lockdown didn’t exactly help matters, but what has everyone and their daughters done in light of the latest police altercation ending in the death of a guy that’s not white? Apparently social distancing is over, because protests that quickly turned into riots if they weren’t riots in the first place are happening everywhere. Targets of choice? Apparently Nike needs to repent more (hiring Colin Kapernick aka the original kneeler wasn’t enough if not forgotten), because all of them are being looted for their shoes. T-Mobile and Sprint are unwillingly giving away plenty of smart phones through their broken storefronts. Don’t worry white people, your favorite outlets such as Gap and Urban Outfitter were targeted too, the most hilarious aside from the CNN HQ being the local Cheesecake Factory. Meanwhile, across the social medias has all the outpouring of “We’re here for you!” and “Sorry for my race and police actions” is still going on and has been for the last few days, with some even encouraging the “protests”.
“I’ll just leave this here.”
So what’s all of this supposed to do anyways? Is it supposed to show solidarity and make people like me feel better that “you stand with us”? Perhaps not, since I’m not a pure blood black man (talk about racism), but for the purposes of this discussion I’ll assume I count here. One of the reasons this showing of virtue is going on is because it’s in language. That’s easy, because it’s free. Are these same people going to, for instance, shop at the businesses of the black people they supposedly “stand” for, let alone employ them? Another quick story: when everyone else was fast filling up on employment during shoulder season in June Lake, the white manager at the Tiger Bar Cafe hired me on the spot, and even let me take the day I was supposed to start off so I could attend my grandmother’s funeral in LA. Perhaps all of you posting blackface screens might do the same, but let’s just say I have my doubts.
“Pictured: an outlet of 2000 Square miles of white communities spreading systemic white supremacy.”
Is this supposed to start a conversation? Perhaps. But I have a few questions about that. For starters, Black Lives Matter has been a thing for nearly a decade now. Meaning this has been a thing well before the last week or so, so you’re not really starting anything. Second, what exactly is this “conversation or discussion” supposed to accomplish? Is it supposed to stop all racism as we know it? Again, this “conversation” as we know it has been ongoing for years. Perhaps it’s only meant to highlight that racism is a thing, because apparently we never notice it until a tragic event happens, which would mean systematic racism really isn’t a thing but that’s just the rational conclusion that would lead you to. That leads to another question: anyone here hear of David Dorn? In case you haven’t, David was a retired police captain in his 70’s that came out of retirement and tried to stop looters from looting and creating other forms of mayhem. He was shot in the back of the head and died on the scene. He also happened to be black. Where are the vigils for him? Where are the protests over his apparent execution? Crickets as far as I can tell, save for the apparent racist straight white males I follow on the internet that I heard this from and started a fundraiser on behalf of his family. I guess in this case, his black life doesn’t matter. But some black guy who by the way had a criminal rap sheet longer than most people’s manhood and was bigger than even I am dies while getting detained by a white officer, and the entire fucking country needs to repent under threat of being burned to the ground?(case in point: New York Post : George Floyd had ‘violent criminal history’: Minneapolis police union chief.
“Pictured: an” innocent” “victim”. ”
Which leads to yet another question: why is it that, whenever a “conversation” about race is brought up, it’s invariably because of the actions of a white person? Whenever someone dies or is attacked by any other racial group, it almost never makes the news, but God help us all if the perpetrator just happens to be white, especially if they also committed the sin of being born a male. Speaking of which, anyone else notice that when this conversation is brought up, it’s always has a majority of white people standing up against racism and violence if they’re not the ones to start it in the first place? So where is all of this inherent systemic racism we all need to talk about? Just why should I as a black man need to be afraid to walk out of my front door lest I get murdered by racist law enforcement? I’m not saying there aren’t racist white people: there are, and what’s more, they get brought up quickly; currently listening to The Men’s Room, and the stories of white racism are being told by guess what: white males. Anyone bringing up racism from literally any other racial group? Again: crickets. Which leads me to what I’ve said back in 2013: Racist is Nigger for white people.
“Yes, I tried calling in, for close to an hour. Usually when the lines are busy, you get a busy signal. But it rang every time I called. Odd coincidence. And that’s a picture of @peanutphysique as my screensaver.”
Speaking of consequences, wanna talk about hurting minorities through trying to be virtuous? A lot of the riots and lootings masquerading as protests on behalf of “my people” led to rather swift curfews being imposed. What does that mean? That means most if not all business, including my own, suspended operations in the areas being burned down. For me, that meant I took most of the weekend off early, one night grabbing a pizza meatballs and wine and going on a Safety Doc Podcast to talk about what was happening here (more on that here: https://youtu.be/KL5ffXEPoOk). But as this threatened to extend into the entire week this whole protesting over the Murder of a criminal by the cops was a real threat to my income. Thankfully things have calmed down a bit and the curfews aren’t as aggressive, and I’m not exactly going to starve if I have to take a week or two off. But what about those that would? What about those, minority or otherwise, that really are living paycheck to paycheck and can’t afford to take a day off, perhaps even depending on overtime? What about the children of those that depend on that income? Do their lives not matter? Does your showing of virtue help them stay alive with a roof over their heads and food in the fridge? If anything, all you people with blackface screens are encouraging the cancellation of income of black people like me. And let’s be honest here: I’m sure some of not most of you really do care about the safety of people like me from being discriminated against if not in harms way.
“Meanwhile, Jim Bob has been knocking it outta the park with his memes.”
But all of this primarily is about your own feelings. It’s to make yourself feel better about what’s going on in the world the media told you to pay attention to this time, not about us “oppressed minorities”, and the backlash I’ve gotten from pointing all of this out cements that fact: it’s your own ego and image on the internet that matters, not the black lives currently being ruined you say you care about. And believe you me will I remember all of the people doing blackface screens, telling me why I should be afraid to step outside, the friends and family I’ve gotten into it with and have even lost. You stand with me? The fuck if you do. I have white people across the country that would actually stand with my black ass before you assholes would. Speaking of which, now that things have calmed down, why? For 3 or 4 days the country had to damn near be put under martial law over racial equality. But for the most part that’s gone away. Do black lives only matter on the weekend? I guess they’re A OK on Wednesday, convenient coincidence I suppose. So now that all of this has gone now and you’ve shown your solidarity to devastating effect to the very minorities you claim to care about, let me, as one of the minorities that was nearly put out of work over this: was it worth it? Was it worth me having to go home early and not be productive to society so people could “protest”, shut down major thoroughfares that could have if they didn’t to people with medical emergencies dying because they couldn’t get through (more on just what you social justice warriors, which is exactly what you virtue signallers are worth here: https://youtu.be/ZLcLa3uVoeI), and taking pictures of white women stealing entire cheesecakes? Was it worth putting up blackface screen so you could feel better from safety of your smartphone? Did you shine a light out of your window at 9pm Wednesday night for 8 minutes and 46 seconds? Has that ended systemic racism only white people apparently are capable of? Are you waiting for the next scheduled showing of virtue tonight? Was it worth David Dorn’s life? Was it worth any of the lives lost because of all this, because a cop may have used unnecessary force against a criminal larger than him? Do you even have the experience to even tell what someone should have done in the heat of the moment? I’ve said it before: real easy to say what someone should have done after the fact, again from the safety of your smartphone. Just how would YOU have handled detaining a guy larger than you are that’s also high on fentanyl and god knows what else that doesn’t want to get in your squad car because he’s on his last strike over drug charges? I can tell you this, as someone that’s actually had to detain people, that was pretty light to say the least. But that was worth shutting the country down on top of the Coronavirus fucktardery? Hey, black people kill each other every fucking day let alone send each other to the hospital, and kill and maim far more white people than the other way around. But a white person (and I saw the faces of who got charged: that’s assuming he was white. Anyone remember Zimmerman? Poor Mexican….) in the kind of first responder uniform you would call in a heartbeat if someone that looks like me was breaking into your apartment maybe killed someone during detainment, and it was worth telling me why I’m oppressed and that you stand with me?
“See what I mean?”
Because I’ll tell you this: as a black man, I no longer trust you. If you put up blackface screen and shined a light out of a window at 9pm for 8 minutes and 46 seconds, I don’t trust you. If you posted stories about black people that are scared of how people will be judged by the colour of their skin and not the content of their character (where did I hear that before, that’s a good quote), I don’t trust you. If you actually dared to argue with me because I might have disagreed with rioting in the streets and blaming white people for it, I no longer trust you. And the reason I no longer trust you is because now all of a sudden, even though you may have met me in real life and we’ve broken bread and booze together and neither of our genetics mattered back then, all of a sudden it does now? All of a sudden, now that I have something to say that goes against the narrative you were told to believe, now race matters? Hell, there are white guys across the country if not the planet that haven’t even seen what I look like and possibly haven’t even heard my voice that I would trust over you assholes telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about and I should be angry at white racism, because unlike you, they and I have something in common on top of possessing the ability to think critically, and that’s actual physically demanding and possibly death bringing experience. I would trust these guys, if there ever was a situation where I’m facing a mob that actually has a sack of testicles, to have my back. But you guys, you keyboard vigil holders, you race baiting sympathisers, you people finally recognising what evil govt power is? The best I’d hope for from you is that you’d get footage of me tearing through a Black Lives Matter mob by myself and posting it on YouTube and World Star Hip Hop for everyone to see. The worst, of course, is that you’d be one of the rioters I end up cutting down. And trust you me: all of the people online that are doing all this? I may not remember everything, but this stuff I keep in mind for a very long time. As I have said before, I’ve already lost friends and even family over stuff like this. If this means I’m no longer worth associating with, what makes you think we were friends in the first place?
“Pictured: Taylor K, aka one of the only models that didn’t post blackface screen. I’ll definitely remember her!”