When it’s impossible to win the game by playing the rules, change the game.” – Grandmaster Dennis Horton
Plenty of life lessons were learned and cemented in my head this week, and here I am to pass them along to you; you’re very welcome! Is it worthgoing to a retail store to get your stuff anymore, and did someone get offended to the point of actually sliding into my Dm’s because I called him out on his shit? Tune in and find out below!
“When all’s said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it’s not so much which road you take, as how you take it.” – Charles de Lint
FINALLY took some well earned, well needed time off to get out of the Pacific NorthWest to recoup some of my sanity. So how did I get away from driving for a living to go on vacation? If you guessed even more driving, you’d be correct! Is it worth going to a party some random podcast decided to throw in the middle of a desert, and how did the old family react to their own offspring growing into a real life cartoon villain? Line up a cavalcade of your finest scotches, because this is quite the journey to listen to, down below!
“The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.” -Rich Cooper
Did you guys make it through the 4th Of July Weekend without losing any digits or in desperate need of skin grafts? I did, and had some delicious wagyu bavette steak strips to boot! Can you tell whether a girl puts in the work at the gym from pics alone, and can guys act like women and be retarded enough to spend money on the dumbest things imaginable? Take yourself a couple shots of 100% agave tequila and listen, down below!
“See, I just can’t see why I don’t trust women anymore….” – The Great One, Himself (paraphrased)
It finally happened: the script of the “we can be friends afterwards” has finally concluded, and I give quite the debriefing. on the matter! Am I just a sexist misogynist that’s salty that the priestess moved on to a guy with a bigger wallet, or are there more examples in the real world that makes me have such a low opinion of the female contingent of humanity? Scroll on down below and hear the full story for yourself!
“Fuck you Target, I just want some God damned shoes!” – Aaron Clarey
Episode 1. I learned this month was something called National Pride Month. Did you know about this month long holiday called Pride Month? I didn’t, so I decided to look it up! Did I learn more about adversities that homosexuals have to face, and is there real pride in a trait you were born with? Let’s find out, down below!
Episode 2. It WAS Father’s Day, so I decided to talk about terrorizing the family, eating free and delicious food, and other things I’m not technically qualified to talk about to, meaning I am the CORRECT person to listen to! Did I celebrate the holiday in good fashion, and do I have better reasoning and care for kids than even their parents? There’s one way to find out!
BONUS CONTENT! Decided to break open the headset to do some in the cockpit recording! How did I have time to set this up while on a freeway on ramp, and will this show end up being roadworthy? Tune in, and enjoy!
Bonus #2: The good times continued to roll after the Father’s Day Live Show, and since I had extra whiskey on hand I decided to launch the first ever Ask Bacon Anything! Does this technically qualify as overclocking, and was the Hot Russian Spy trying to kill me on my own birthday? Dive in to find out!
irl, dating advice, life advice, dating, relationships, relationship, relationship advice, “So what do you have going for you besides your looks?” – Mystery
Millions of boys and men ask this question in a million different forms: How Do I Get The Girls? This jamoke running the site compiles some of his experience, research and painful/pleasurable experience into one episode! Is there really a secret formula to getting laid by the lovely ladies, and did a special guest cast a few doubts on the advice and experience dispensed here? Tune in down below to find out!
Ah yes, one of the episodes I have been looking forward to recording, at least the second half! Didn’t even get to any articles, but it’s nice to go free form and talk about your own experiences for an hour. Is a devestating heartbreak a requirement to becoming a strong man, and is it possible to get taken home by an post menopausal lesbian and a hot 21 year old within a year? Pour yourself a few glasses of scotch boys and girls, and put in the ear buds!
“I love it when people suffer. Because if they don’t eventually we all will.” – The Goddamn Bacon
Man, Saturday was so jam packed with fucktardery I didn’t even get to the seafood sickness stories I had in store, which in retrospect is probably a good thing! Part One is the recording about the human manifestation of bubonic plague that is the homeless population here: one about how just one of them costs untold thousands of wasted hours, another detailing why I was up until 5am and not involving a woman in bed. Part Two is the late night bourbon fueled story telling about the misadventure of bringing a cigar to the smoking area populated by cigarette smokers and why an off duty police officer got involved. Did accidentally raise more hell than I actually solved, and were any homeless encampments mysteriously set ablaze? Find out, down below!
Up 2 days late because of other bouts of chaos, the debut of what I’m callin The Laughter At Humanity Show is here! Included are lessons about being banned on twitter and privacy, how livestreaming on Instagram is supposed to work, a progressive example of why taking a listeners advice of drinking energy drinks is a bad idea (note: maybe don’t try this after your daily cup of coffee), and a special guest appearance halfway through reading an article about why the vast majority of vegans go back to eating real food. Is any of the audio quality enough to listen to, or will these be a solid hour of pure ear rape? Find out, down below!
Recently I decided that, due to the scheduling on my end, that Sunday would be the best day to record and post recordings. So of course that’s the exact moment all of my devices decided to revolt en masse and prevent me from posting yesterday. So here’s the newest podcast, involving how (I believe) spam callers called both of my parents a day apart from each other, chewing out some poor fat front desk manager at a overpriced hotel, and of course, another reading of yet another vegan article. Went a bit over so I had to lower the bitrate to fit it in (uploads are limited to less than 64 MB), but hopefully it is enjoyable for you. Cheers!
A great person that will stay anonymous went through the most accidental traumatic experience possible for her, and has suffered accordingly I give her two lessons from this that should help her, along with anyone going through a similar experience.